Update

The last few days have gone very well and I'm so thankful. There has been peace in our home and many happy times. Last weekend Zach had three days off and I prayed that things would be okay with us, because sometimes one day is hard enough to get through. We ended up having a lovely time and I was sad to see him go back to work.

I realized that every day off that he has needs to be covered in prayer. It is mostly not about him, but me. I want to have the right perspective and plenty of grace for him. The miracle that I am believing God for is probably at least 50% about refining me. Today I woke up to him throwing up from drinking too much last night. I cannot feel sorry for myself or become self-righteous, critical or disrespectful. That can be difficult! But I am learning over and over that it is not about whether he is right or not that defines what I do or say in response to him, it is about what my role is in this marriage. Do I believe God is capable, or that I need to do His job? Do I trust in Him? It all comes down to that. I would rather go up in flames believing in His goodness, but I need Him to help me daily with this!